The Outsider
by Y. Fish
Summary: An alternate version of the Book of Ti'ana scene in which Aitrus confronts Veovis about his vote in the council chamber earlier that day. Warnings: Angst, slash, and major Book of Ti'ana spoilers.


- The Outsider -

_Disclaimer: I don't own any of the names or ideas in the D'ni universe; those belong to Cyan Worlds and UbiSoft. No money is being made off of this story._

Veovis leaned against the frame of the window, staring across the dimmed lake to the city that climbed the far wall of the cavern. He poured a glass of winewithout watching his handsand drained it with as much passion. Somewhere in that city, Aitrus was slumped in a pitiful heap bemoaning his awful fate in silence. Veovis pictured it. He'd be sitting in some empty room, staring at a spot on the floor as if there were nothing else left to stare at in the universe, eyes small and sad like a little lost reekoo's. In such a sorry state, would he even be wise enough to see the only course of action he had left?

Veovis laughedwithout smilingand poured himself another glass of wine. No, Aitrus would remain in that dejected pit of angst forever if left undisturbed. But he had _her_. If anyone could talk sense into Aitrus, she could. The picture was as clear as day in Veovis' mind: she would come up behind him, lay a hand on his shoulder, turn his face toward her. She would hold his gaze with a stone countenance, and _make_ him see what he had to do. Make him be a man. She had always stronger than Aitrus, this woman-- this _outsider. _No wonder Aitrus had fallen for her. The thought of it sent a suddentwinge of some hot, poison emotion through Veovis. Was it resentment? Disdain? Even jealousy?

Before, Veovis had called his dislike for Ti'ana prejudice. It had been truthful at first; Veovis was not one to trust an uncivilized surface-dweller. But as hecame to know Ti'ana, he realized that she was neither barbaric nor sinister. For a time, he found that he enjoyed the company of this patient, inquisitive little woman. But Ti'ana changed things. Veovis saw how Aitrus began to look at her, perhaps before Aitrus himself realized it. Ti'ana took up more and more of Atrus' time,grew closer to himthan Veovis had ever been in their years of friendship. They would chatter on for hours about rocks and fault lines, speaking a language to one another that Veovis could barely understand. He sometimes wondered if they even realized he was still present when they went off on these tangents at social gatherings. He could barely get a word in edgewise to Aitrus when _she_ was around, and even when she wasn't, the only thing on Aitrus' mind was Ti'ana this and Ti'ana that and Oh, Veovis, you wouldn't believe what Ti'ana said the other day. She and Aitrus wrote an Age together-- an _Age!_ Veovis whirled away from the window, not wishing to picture them skipping through their little geologist's wonderland together. He'd broken rules for her. Aitrus, who was always such a lawful man, had broken D'ni law to teach Ti'ana how to Write. That was when Veovis had finally realized that Aitrus was lost to him entirely-- Aitrus would never break the law that barred him from Veovis.

Veovis looked up at a knock from the door. One of the house servants entered the dark room and bowed.

"Guild Master Aitrus requests an audience with you, Master Veovis," he said.

"Good," Veovis replied. "I will receive him here immediately. Send him to me." The servant bowed again and exited the room.

Veovis thought of how Aitrus had looked in the Council Chamber earlier that day, when he had come for permission to marry the outsider. He had walked into the Chamber so bright and energetic, almost glowing with nervous anticipation. Aitrus had looked so small, his thin frame standing in the center of that great stone ampetheater before the stern thrones of the Five Great Lords and the whole governing body of D'ni. It reminded Veovis of those days so long ago, back when he had seen Aitrus working in the Shaft among the monstrous machines at the bottom of the Well that seemed to stretch upward forever. Aitrus, though he never struck one as exceptionally brave, never seemed daunted by anything that was bigger or more powerful than he was. He was never out of place among giants.

And then, the change of expression that had come over Aitrus' face when he heard Veovis' words. All the color in his countenance drained away, revealing a face of disbelief and heartache forno more thanan instant before he concealed it again with a dignified air. Aitrus' expression hit Veovis sharply. For a moment, he almost moved to repeal his vote-- how could he wound his former friend like this? But Veovis held his tongue; it was not for nothing that he had opposed the marriage of Aitrus and Ti'ana in the first place.

He was surprised at Aitrus' composure. Veovis had assumed that Aitrus would shoot him some cold look, perhaps even exchange a few choice words-- anything to acknowledge the rivalry that had been growing between them ever since the outsider Ti'ana had wedged herself into their world. But Aitrus, ever the more composed, soft-spoken of the two, never even looked directly at Veovis. He simply agreed to "the will of the Council", turned, and left the Chamber, as if he had only been denied a permit to excavate in a restricted Age. Veovis' look softened as he thought of that. Aitrus was a better man than he to bear such an insult so well. In a part of his heart, Veovis regretted having caused Aitrus this heartache.

His reverie ended as the real Aitrus entered the room.

Aitrus bowed stiffly. "Veovis," he said, notably omitting any title from the address. Before, when they had been close, it would have hardly raised an eyebrow; now it was the accusation that Veovis had anticipated since the incident in the chamber.

"So what is it that you want, Guildsman?" Veovis said, using a distant title. _If Aitrus can be cold, so can I be_, he thought to himself.

"I seek an explanation for your vote this morning."

"And I decline to give it."

"You do not like her, do you?"

Inside, Veovis cringed with a mix of hatred and pity. If only Aitrus knew how much further than that it went... this was no matter of petty dislike. Outwardly, he only shrugged. "As I said..."

"...you decline to give your reasons." Aitrus said these words to the floor with grim acceptance. Veovis was screaming inside. It was clear what Aitrus was thinking-- that Veovis' heart was of nara, that he could afford no place in it for an outsider, that such bigotry could reduce the closest friendship to a bitter feud. Could he not see the great storm of emotion behind this seeming act of blind malice? Did Aitrus truly believe that Veovis would do something like this to him over something so trivial as a political opinion on race?

Aitrus had turned to the door and was ready to leave when Veovis called out to him.

"Aitrus!" he called, gripping his glass more tightly as he said it, though out of rage or fear he didn't know. Aitrus turned from the doorway, looking surprised at Veovis' use of his name. Veovis realized that this was the first time in years he had addressed Aitrus as nothing but 'Aitrus.' He had missedthe familiarity. The feeble yellow light from the dying firehighlighted only the faintest outline of the fine-boned face that Veovis knew so well, illuminating only one of those pale, quiet eyes that had always been filled with so much patience. Veovis wondered how much of his face Aitrus could see in the darkness. He wondered if Aitrus could remember the part of his face obscured in shadow.

"I never wanted to hurt you," Veovis said, his voice uncharictaristically fragile. It sounded as if he were using all of his remaining willpower to control his words. "If you had any idea, if only you could see what I mean--" Veovis broke off, unable to continue. He turned to the window and laid his head upon the glass.

Veovis had expected Aitrus to leave after this. What could he possibly want to say to a stuttering madman who had kept him from the woman he... _loved_. Veovis fought back tears as that dreadful, definite word fell into his head like a stone--_ loved._ Aitrus loved Ti'ana. There was no denying it. Nothing that Veovis could do, no matter how miserable he could make them, would ever change the fact that they _loved_ one another. Veovis broke into involuntary sobs through clenched teeth. He couldn't believe that he was actually crying over this. All his life, he had prided himself on his inability to be hurt; and now he had been brought to tears by the kindest man he had ever known. And the bitter irony of it was, Aitrus himself would never understand what he had done. Aitrus would never know the true reason why Veovis had acted as he did. Aitrus would go on thinking that it had been out of_ hate,_ and Veovis had no way to tell him the truth. _Not that he would ever believe the truth if he heard it_, Veovis thought.

A hand lighted on Veovis' shoulder. He turned, astonished, and saw that same faint outline in firelight of Aitrus' face beside his own.

"What's the matter with you, Veovis?" he asked, worry evident in his voice. Even now, after everything Veovis had done, Aitrus could still worry about him. "You never cry. What in all the Ages is the cause of this?"

To his own surprise, Veovis laughed. "Don't you know by now?" he whispered, not sure if he was talking to himself or to Aitrus. "Doesn't it make any sense to you at all? You honestly think that I voted against your marriage because Ti'ana is a _surface-dweller?_ You've seen me with her! You know that I've grown to respect her as a person. It would make no sense if I were to suddenly ban her from marrying a D'ni man because of a prejudice that I lost ages ago."

Aitrus looked puzzled. "But... you haven't spoken to her in years," he said. "You've distanced yourself from the both of us, the entire city knows of the rift between you and the two of us, both politically and socially. How can you say that you don't hate Ti'ana?"

Veovis smiled again, a sad, hopeless smile. "I never said that I didn't hate Ti'ana," Veovis said slowly, shaking his head. "I just said that I didn't hate her for her heritage."

"Then why?" Aitrus asked, his voice suddenly full of rage. He straightened up and dug his fingernails into the palms of his clenched fists. "Why do you hate her? What has she ever done to you? Why can't you just let us be _happy together?_" He nearly screamed these last words at Veovis. Never had Aitrus shown so much unbridled anger; Veovis was shocked into silence.

Aitrus took his silence as mockery. Fuming, he turned to leave again. This time, Veovis reached out to grab him by the sleeve of his shirt and pulled him in close, closing the remaining inches between them. Their lips met in a fiery embrace. Veovis channeled into that kiss all of the rage, the passion, the jealousy, the anger and the longing that he had kept pent up for so long: dammed by D'ni law, his family's reputation, and the outsider Ti'ana. He put his hands on either side of Aitrus' face, holding him tightly as if afraid that he'd vanish like morning mist if Veovis so much as fluttered an eyelash.

He finally pulled away from the embrace, his hands still on either side of Aitrus' face. Slowly, they droppedto Veovis' sides. Aitrus was stunned, and Veovis was painfully unsurprised to see the faint horror hidden in Aitrus' eyes. Surely, there had been rumors-- why should a young man of Veovis' standing in D'ni, and from such a prominent, rich family, not be married at this age? How could he channel so much of his energy into success in the Guild with nary a glance at the pretty girls that his father no doubt presented to him? Veovis was a man who had everything: money, power, astonishing talent, ravishing good looks. But then why did he always seem so troubled, so anxious or depressed, as if some part of him was missing that could never be filled? They would talk, but no one would ever suspect the truth: that the one person Veovis loved was someone he could never have.

Aitrus stuttered, unsure of what to say. "Veovis--" he began, but Veovis cut him off.

"You don't need to say anything," Veovis said, turning away from Aitrus. "I'm sorry."

Aitrus leaned closer to Veovis. "Veovis, I..." He trailed off into silence, at a loss for words. "I don't love you," he said, finally. "I understand now, why you wouldn't... I understand how much it must have hurt you when... whenthe engagement was announced. But... I don't love you, Veovis. I'm sorry." Aitrus' voice was barely above a whisper, filled with apologetic hopelessness. He cast his eyes at the floor, unwilling to look Veovis in the eye.

"No," said Veovis, "I'm sorry. It's my fault. You and Ti'ana... you love each other. _I _understand _that, _now. You deserve to be together. I will repeal my vote." Veovis moved away from Aitrus' touch, speaking without facing him. "I think it would be best if we sever any ties we once had, Aitrus. Whatever existed between us, is no more." Veovis choked out these words, trying again to hold back unwanted tears. "All promises are met. I bid you farewell, Guildsman."

Veovis didn't turn around to see Aitrus leave. He heard the young man's footsteps, slowly at first, but moving on toward the door. There, they paused.

"I'm sorry, Veovis," Aitrus said one last time, true sorrow in his voice.

"I'm sorry too," whispered Veovis. "Now leave, for I am sick with the sight of you."

Aitrus left, and Veovis sank into his chair with his bottle of wine, silent.


End file.
